10 Experiences that Shaped Me: 8 - Taekwondo Black Belt

At some point while going through years of training in martial arts you are sure to hear the phrase "A black belt isn't something you earn, it is something you become".

After a great deal of time in the karate studio taking lessons 5 days a week I spent a good part of a year on the tournament trail. Every weekend started with an early exit from work on Friday night followed by a trip to another city. Some were by car to neighboring states like Arkansas, Louisiana or Kansas. Others were by airplane to states far away like Florida, or Illinois. Once I even competed at a tournament in another country.

I learned a number of things in my quest for a black belt. I learned that a spin heel kick looks cool when Mel Gibson does it in the movies, but when I do it in a sparing match it will send my sparring partner to the hospital.

I learned that when the referee yells "BREAK!" the fighting is supposed to stop but if you let your guard down without being sure your opponent has stopped you might not be able to eat anything but soup for a week or so.

I learned that the folks who fight me every week in the tournaments respect my fade away reverse side kick as an exit strategy but people who just spar casually in class can get broken ribs from it so I need to be careful to understand my opponent.

The day before the picture above was taken I learned that if a black belt kicks low it's wise to block low but don't make the mistake of not being ready to block high when he changes the kick because if you don't block there is nothing to keep his big toe from going into your eye.

None of those things, however are the take away that got Taekwondo on the list.

My goal when I started taekwondo was to get a black belt. My goal when I started doing tournaments was to win a state championship. After a boat load of trophies including one for 2nd in sparring at nationals, I lost the state championship and ended up in 2nd place.

The guy who beat me was just plain better than I was. He was younger (about 9 years) and faster and more fit. We drove each other all season long and forced each other to achieve so much more than either of us would have achieved individually. We met in the final tournament of the year tied for first place. He beat me to take the championship but when the season ended we had triple the points of the third place finisher and more total points than everyone else (number 3 - 10) combined.

I put a picture on the wall of him and I shaking hands after the match with a caption that says "When your very best just isn't good enough".

The take away is that losing is OK if you take your best shot. No matter what happens, your best is still good enough. It's all you have. One should NEVER choose not to compete or live an experience just because they might lose. Losing is so much better than not playing.