I knew it was coming, (part 1)

You have two dogs living together you're going to have a fight. Watching Newbie I was confident it was coming...and it came.

It as a bit different than I thought. The puppy was in Maggie's face, barking up a storm. Maggie's tail was wagging and suddenly Newbie more or less jumped on Maggie's back. Apparently that was too much and it was on.

Michelle was in the middle of it (she as actually petting Maggie when it started). She grabbed Maggie and pulled her off but couldn't seem to stop the ruckus.

I jumped from my chair, grabbed Newbie, and stopped the fight ... for about a nanosecond. Before I knew it Newbie squirmed free, hit the floor and took a flying leap right back onto Maggie's back growling, barking and biting.

I reacquired control, took a couple of steps and put Newbie on his back in a submissive position. I got in his face, showed my teeth and scolded the dog then held him until his heart rate slowed down.

Newbie went to time out and we praised Maggie (who never got a hold of Newbie - not sure if that was Maggie's choice or not).

Now I know Newbie is much more aggressive than Tia and have no doubt that a point in time is coming where Maggie will have to teach the puppy about how the world really works.

It's unfortunate. I hope we can postpone it until a time when the vet office is open.

Dog Protocol

After 13 days of withdrawal, Mandy's mother-in-law and my wife went to PetsMart where a rescue org was showing their clients.

They found 3 dogs. I quickly eliminated the long white haired one because it sheds. The second was a puppy (8 weeks I think) and I was apprehensive (but not so much to argue against). The third was a Yorkie that was a year and a half old. I agreed that the pup would probably make a good pet and she agreed to let me name him.

I chose the name "Newbie" because there was something about Newbie Yorkie that amused my simple (and slightly bent) mind.

Anyway, this post isn't about that. Not with a title like "Dog Protocol".

Here's the interesting thing. My daughter is on holiday in Colorado so we're babysitting the grand dog. As a quick history you probably need to know that Maggie (Mandy's dog) was quick to tear little chunks off of our last dog (15 year old and grumpy) from time to time. We assumed Maggie was a bit intolerant with other dogs.

So here's the protocol stuff. The pup did at least three things that we assumed would be followed by a swift lesson from Maggie. The first was growling at Maggie as she approached the dog bowl. The second was standing on the couch, towering over Maggie, who isn't allowed on the couch (Mandy's rules not ours but we enforce them) and barking when Maggie got close. Finally, in the the most significant and daring display of all, Newbie ran across the room and as she rocketed by Maggie she grabbed one of Maggie's ears and used it to slingshot to a stop.

Result number one (dog bowl growl) - Michelle and I were both in the middle of that one right away so if I say Maggie didn't "let him have it" it would be true but maybe because of the intervention of a higher power.

Result number two (taking a dominant stance from the couch). The first time this happened we stopped it right away but Newbie was up and down (perpetual motion, that one) and he seemed to like the game of getting into Maggie's face from above her. Each iteration Michelle and I did less and less to stop it. Maggie was wagging her tail and the fight never happened.

The third was the most amazing to me. The puppy was running around the house. Sometimes racing past Maggie who didn't seem to react much then it happened so quickly I could do little more than watch. Newbie shot past the chair and as he rocketed by Maggie he grabbed one of her ears and held on well enough to stop his momentum. The ear hold spun him around so he was nose to nose with Maggie as he stopped. He let go of the ear and Maggie began swinging her tail wildly and quickly stuffed her nose into his butt.

All I can say is that's now how it worked with Tia.

I'm thinking there must be some kind of "I'm just playing so don't kill me" smell that comes out of a puppy's butt. I've thought it over and that's the logical conclusion.

On the Subject of Meat...

What did you do on your holiday weekend?

Besides killing the dog, I ground up meat. I started with over 60 pounds of brisket and 50 pounds of pork and made this.

42 pounds of it is Italian sausage. The rest is hamburger.

Go ahead you vegetarians, roll over in your graves (assuming you are dead or happen to be laying in your grave)

Doggie Respect?

By now most of you know Tia died earlier this week.


Day before yesterday I grabbed Tia's bed from our bedroom and moved it into my office (because Michelle had taken the old one out and washed it). Prior to Monday - this was my babysitting status:

So Tia died and I moved the bed. Every day since Maggie (the one on the left looking at us with Satan's gaze) comes over for dogie day care but the routine is changed. Now, instead of coming into the office and crashing with Tia (I assume they do it so they can keep an eye on me and insure we won't bring yet ANOTHER dog here) she comes in for a quick interaction and leaves.

I hear her run around the house some and then it's quiet. When she's not outside I can find her in Tia's room (enclosed patio for you that aren't familiar) in the bed beside Tia's outside bed.

She doesn't hang out in the office with me anymore.

So that left me with two questions.

Was she hanging out with Tia while I had delusions of grandeur?

Would she rather be in here but was staying off Tia's bed out of respect for Tia's territory?

The second question is strange. Really strange (assuming you know Maggie).

Back in the day Maggie would take everything away from Tia. Her bed, her toys, her food and water. If Tia wanted to go to bed Maggie would literally block her access and if Tia tried to get by Maggie would beat the crap out of her. Really nasty beatings.

Over the last year or two, though, things have mellowed and the dogs had become quite good friends. Now if Tia is on the bed under my table (as in the picture above) Maggie would go somewhere else. Sometimes she would join Tia in bed (as in the above picture). Back in the day Maggie would ABSOLUTELY take the bed away from Tia and make her leave.

But she wouldn't get on the bed anymore. Wouldn't even sleep in my office. But why?

So...

Today (a few hours ago) I laid on the floor and called Maggie on to Tia's bed. She did the whole submissive thing (even peed on the floor a bit) but I kept insisting she come on the bed with me. Finally she did. I petted her and explained that Tia was dead and Maggie could sleep there now (like talking to a dog makes any sense). I scratched her a bit and then went back to work. Maggie got up and left the office.

You would think nothing changed but I just turned around and what did I see?

I have no idea. You tell me.

Putting The Dog Down

We had this little dog for the last 15 years right up through yesterday. My daughter wrote a blog post that my sister read. My sister sent a little message of condolence. It was simple. All it said was:

I Just read on fb that you had to put Tia down and i wanted to tell you how sorry I am. She was a wonderful member of your family.
Love,
Vickie

Yesterday I was playing the role of the big strong man. Today, I'm finally alone for the first time and as I look over at the empty dog bed by the wall of my home office and consume a box of Kleenex bawling like a little girl, I realize I need to write a response. This is not a response to Vickie, it's really a letter to me about who I chose as a life partner.

Putting The Dog Down

I need to tell Vickie she was mistaken.

Frisky died after 12 years, we had Snoopy for 7 years, Cody for 9 and a number the black Labs all seemed to move away after two or three. With a duration of more than 15 years Tia was with us longer than any pet I've ever had and if one thing was ever true, it is this, you never put Tia down.

Mandy put her down. In her blog tribute to Tia Mandy reminds us that Tia wasn't the smartest or bravest animal on the planet and you have to admit. If you're a dog, that's kind of a put down.

I put that dog down. I bet a week never went by when I didn't remind her how stupid she was . I've cursed her for getting light brown hair on all of my dark blue suits. I've called her the dumbest animal on the face of the planet. I've told her natural selection was frustrated because we kept screwing with the natural order of things by keeping her alive. I started calling her peepers because of all the times she would get nervous, lose control of her bladder and give me an opportunity to remind you that small dogs can't be house broken. I've said she is the only dog on the face of the planet that was dumb enough be hit by a car twice. I've called her a wuss, accused her of faking her hearing loss and as one final insult I will say that for her to give unconditional love to someone who verbally abuses her like that, well that's monumental stupid.

Ever since HP sent me to work from home Tia has been right here sleeping in my office so she could be near me. For a decade and a half every time I was in the living room reminding her how little value she had she would run over and crawl in my lap as if to say:

"I think all these insults amuse you and I love you so much that nothing is better for me than making you happy so while you're at it, don't forget the one about me being afraid of, well, of everything. That one seems to perk you up."

Yes, I've put Tia down.

The vet put Tia down when she helped us end the pain that Tia was hobbling through every time she would struggle to get up and waddle to the door when Maggie would tell her you got home.

Yes. Mandy put Tia down. The vet put Tia down and I definitely put Tia down but Michelle, if you only remember one thing about that dog, remember this. In 15 years YOU never put Tia down.

When I was on a rant about the two inch spot on the floor resulting from someone scaring the dog you were Perry Mason pleading her innocence as you ran for the Folex and paper towels.

When Mandy would rant about how stupid the dog was for bristling as Maggie walked by you would grab Tia, protect her, and explain to Mandy that Tia was older and needed her space.

Tia was never wrong to you. You never saw her as being stupid or timid. You weren't angry that she shed on your clean cloths, you were just in the market for a lint roller.

You put blankets and beds everywhere she might happen to lay down. You ran the air conditioner on the patio, regardless of the cost, to make "Tia's Room" the coolest room in the house so the dog would be more comfortable.

In the final weeks when Tia felt horrible and couldn't eat, you managed to open at least one can of every kind of food in the pantry on the outside chance that Tia would be willing to ingest a teaspoon of that particular sustenance.

Put her down? Michelle you opened a can of green beans and she ate one (count it one) bean. Then, the next day you opened another can on the outside chance she would eat another bean (you got her to eat half a bean as I recall so you figured the can was a good investment).

These past few weeks I would wake up in the middle of the night and you would be on the floor with one hand on the dog because your touch would bring Tia some comfort in the turmoil of her last days. Nothing was more important to you than trying to love Tia half as much as Tia loved you (let's face it, though we could all out smart her, nobody could out love that stupid little mutt)
And the final day, understanding that Tia has been dependant on you her whole life and that Tia trusted you completely, you once again took the completely selfless route. When every vet office was closed for the holiday you made me get up way too early and help you search for a place that could help her.

When the vet told you treatment would be crazy expensive you didn't even blink. Later, when the vet told you her kidneys were gone, and that she would never experience another day when she didn't suffer, you did it again.

You wanted nothing more than to keep her with you forever, even if it meant sleepless nights on the floor and opening a can of peas to see if you could get Tia to eat one of those. You wanted to keep her but that wasn't the best thing for Tia so you did what would hurt you the most.

Nope. My analysis is complete and one thing is sure. You never put that dog down. You always lifted her up.

...and at no extra charge...A rant!

Let me start with a couple pictures of my "done all by my self haircut"


Both are self portraits taken with my Nikon using a 18-200 zoom lens.



Now, just so we're clear this rant will not be about my new haircut. What I want to passionately discuss is the nature of using the on-camera flash with a bigger than small lens.



If you look at the bottom of these pictures you will see a dark place, kind of an arch of shadow, near the middle.



Here's what happens. The flash is right on the top of the camera. The lens pokes out far enough that it blocks the light and throws a shadow on the bottom of the picture. This happens mostly with three of my lenses; the 70-300 zoom, the 18-200 zoom, and my 10-24 mm ultra wide angle.



The best solution would be to point the flash at the ceiling and bounce the light on the subject (which would be me) but the built-in flash doesn't point at the ceiling.



The answer, then, is a new flash. I have chosen the Nikon SB-400 so I can bounce the flash if I need to and even if I don't, it sits high enough above the camera to eliminate that annoying "Expensive Lens" shadow.

This Time I'll Take Responsibility

My mother loves to tell a story about when I was a wee little sprout. I don't remember it so I can only repeat it as hear-say.

Apparently I came home from school with a big chunk of my hair cut away. She asked me who cut my hair and I insisted I didn't know. After an appropriate amount of time sweating a true confession out of me I admitted that I was sitting sitting in a room when someone I didn't know ran into the room, cut a chunk out of my hair, and ran away.

As I understand the story, I never copped to the fact that perhaps I had something to do with the hair cut.

Now move forward with me, if you will, 40 or 45 years. You get to today and today I will stand in judgement taking full responsibility. Before I tell you all of it, let me give you some background.

Over the years the cost of a haircut has been steadily rising. I used to pay just under two dollars in my earliest memories. These days a haircut is a $15 or $20 deal. Even more if you want a "good" one.

Probably 5 or 6 months ago we were at Target and I noticed you could buy a set of barber clippers for $20. I remember thinking "Hey, that's about the price of a haircut" so I purchased a set.

My thinking was that if I had Michelle cut my hair every other time I could cover the cost of the clippers in less than two months.

My thinking was sound. As it turned out, I have learned I could have Michelle trim the hair up two times between "Real" haircuts and nobody would notice. I was at a point of getting a "real" haircut about every 3rd month.

Now it's July in Texas and July in Texas is HOT. I decided I needed a short haircut and with Tina's wedding behind us I really don't have any "public" times for months. I have been pondering an experiment where I put on the biggest guard (#9) and just do a buzz cut. How would that work?

Michelle has been hesitant and here I was are a full week from the time we were on the beach in Boston with Ajax and Tiki and my hair was too long and too hot.

So...

I took the clippers out in the back yard, took off my shirt, closed my eyes and 4 minutes (and another $20 saved) later I was in the shower getting rid the short pieces that might make me itch.

Here's what I did...

My Version of Joseph in the Prision

So can anyone interpret dreams? I had one that lasted pretty much all night.

I'm wondering around a park and this brown duck is following me. All the other ducks at the park are white. Every now and then I almost step off a ledge (just a few feet) into the muddy water of a lake (but I never do) and realize I have to solve a data center problem.

I wake up thinking about the problem (and the duck). Then I go back to sleep and it all starts again. A while later I'm awake again thinking about a new data center problem (and the same duck).

What does that mean? Did God give me a vision?