It's nearly embarrassing. I go over to Mandy's house and she leaves her laptop right out there where God and everybody can see it. If she has her blog up (hey, I'm not invading privacy...you can get there yourself going to jackandmandy.blogspot dot com ) I see that she has dozens (maybe hundreds, who knows) of followers.
I need some followers. If you're reading this you need to consider signing up as a follower.
I'm writing but with only one person reading how is one to stay motivated?
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Imagine...(but not the one by John Lennon)
Imagine you had a little dog that was old and deaf and timid.
Imagine that you had a neighbor that had a dog that was young and tough and agressive.
Imagine that yesterday was your anniversary and you had a big ole rib bone from a 22 oz Bone in Delmonico.
Congrats - you've set the stage.
Now imagine you give the rib bone to the timmid little deaf dog (making her quite happy) and a few minutes later, to your surprise, your neighbor sneaks over to your house and turns her young, tough agressive dog loose in your house.
Yup. That might be bad (and quite loud as it turns out too).
Imagine that you had a neighbor that had a dog that was young and tough and agressive.
Imagine that yesterday was your anniversary and you had a big ole rib bone from a 22 oz Bone in Delmonico.
Congrats - you've set the stage.
Now imagine you give the rib bone to the timmid little deaf dog (making her quite happy) and a few minutes later, to your surprise, your neighbor sneaks over to your house and turns her young, tough agressive dog loose in your house.
Yup. That might be bad (and quite loud as it turns out too).
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
X minus 10
I haven't figured out the secret to eternal youth yet but I'm ready to declare myself knowledgeable about weight loss. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I've reached the ideal weight or live the perfect healthy life, I'm saying I've found the nugget of gold.
The secret to weight loss is you need to be really fat!
During my AH-HA! moment I actually said "I wish I weighed 150 more pounds because then I could eat even more!"
The calorie consumption allowed by the software is determined by a number of factors and your starting weight is one of them. The more you weigh, the more you get to eat.
Then there is exercise. Same thing. Michelle and I were planning an exercise session and noticed that if we do a brisk walk for an hour she would burn 180 calories. Walking at her side for the same hour I blast through over 400 calories which gives me the opportunity to scarf down another full meal following her consumption scale (as miniscule as it is).
Here's another tip for having your diet work. Eat all the wrong stuff.
For decades I've been wolfing down chicken fried steak, double quarter pounders, and let's not forget that second helping of cherry pie. Eating like that sets a wonderful foundation for weight loss because when you switch over to egg whites and salad you can consume an amazing volume and still slash your calorie count.
Anyway it seems to be working. I've been at it for two weeks and I've managed to dump a wee bit over 10 pounds so far.
The secret to weight loss is you need to be really fat!
During my AH-HA! moment I actually said "I wish I weighed 150 more pounds because then I could eat even more!"
The calorie consumption allowed by the software is determined by a number of factors and your starting weight is one of them. The more you weigh, the more you get to eat.
Then there is exercise. Same thing. Michelle and I were planning an exercise session and noticed that if we do a brisk walk for an hour she would burn 180 calories. Walking at her side for the same hour I blast through over 400 calories which gives me the opportunity to scarf down another full meal following her consumption scale (as miniscule as it is).
Here's another tip for having your diet work. Eat all the wrong stuff.
For decades I've been wolfing down chicken fried steak, double quarter pounders, and let's not forget that second helping of cherry pie. Eating like that sets a wonderful foundation for weight loss because when you switch over to egg whites and salad you can consume an amazing volume and still slash your calorie count.
Anyway it seems to be working. I've been at it for two weeks and I've managed to dump a wee bit over 10 pounds so far.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
What if it's Unlimited Golf?
I'm sure you find yourself spending hours pondering how you would solve the following problem:
What would I do to maximize my minature golf time if I found myself in an "unlimited games" situation without notice?
It's obvious that one must ponder (and solve) this problem prior to an event where one is faced with an actual "as many rounds as you want" situation. Failure to do so would find you unprepared to deal with the situation, should it happen in real life.
Here's how you do it.
Each hole offers you two strokes or less. If you finish the hole in two strokes or less you don't get a point. If you hit the ball twice and it isn't in the hole yet, you pick it up (and take a point).
It's fast and it doesn't require a score card! This will maximize your total hole count while minimizing the required time.
...and for those of you who like to spice it up a little...
Here's a nice revision rule. Everyone hits once and then everyone goes again (i.e. take turns). Standard rules of golf apply as far as the tee off order (because going first is a disadvantage as you'll soon see).
Here's the fun part. If you hit someone else's ball your stroke doesn't count and you take another shot right away. It puts a bit-o-the croquet strategy in the game (and makes it possible to get a hole in zero which almost certainly puts you first in the next tee box).
What would I do to maximize my minature golf time if I found myself in an "unlimited games" situation without notice?
It's obvious that one must ponder (and solve) this problem prior to an event where one is faced with an actual "as many rounds as you want" situation. Failure to do so would find you unprepared to deal with the situation, should it happen in real life.
Here's how you do it.
Each hole offers you two strokes or less. If you finish the hole in two strokes or less you don't get a point. If you hit the ball twice and it isn't in the hole yet, you pick it up (and take a point).
It's fast and it doesn't require a score card! This will maximize your total hole count while minimizing the required time.
...and for those of you who like to spice it up a little...
Here's a nice revision rule. Everyone hits once and then everyone goes again (i.e. take turns). Standard rules of golf apply as far as the tee off order (because going first is a disadvantage as you'll soon see).
Here's the fun part. If you hit someone else's ball your stroke doesn't count and you take another shot right away. It puts a bit-o-the croquet strategy in the game (and makes it possible to get a hole in zero which almost certainly puts you first in the next tee box).
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Apparently I was an aspiring poet...
I was going through papers in the garage and I found a paper marked in such a way to establish that I worte it on February 11, 1971 (which means I was 13) Here's my prose...
Once upon a time, way up in a tree
there was a little bird. His name was chickidee.
An then we found an empty dish, owned by a cat name flerp.
I yelled "Where is my little bird?" but all he said was burp!
Once there was a dog, so masculent and tuff.
He was very proud. His master named him Ruff.
Ten one day a cat named moo killed the cow named joe.
The dog named Ruff didn't care how much that cat did grow.
Until one day when moo came down to see the dog named Ruff.
The dog and cat had a fight but neither one was tough.
Ruff had made a big mistake, he bit the belly of the cat.
From the meat that came form joe there was a giant splat.
Once there was a little kid who ran around the block.
He never wore all of his shoes and tried to eat his sock.
Then his mama said, "Hey Kid? What you tryin to do!"
He answered "Nothing really mom, The dog just ate my shoe".
Once there was a baker man who baked the cakes all night.
He finally got to take a rest, he fired some dinomite.
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner, eating his Chirsmas pie.
He stuck in his thumb and pulled out his little sister and said
"Hey, what are you doing?"
Once upon a time there was a kid name Joe.
He never sucked his thumb, he always sucked his toe.
This was fine and Dandy until very soon
His favorite sucking toe looked just like a prune.
Ole mother Hubbard sat in the cupboard eating her dog named Joe.
Along came a spider who sat down beside her - and bit her on the toe.
Once there was a very old man who ate a lot of fish.
Then one day he fell down and car ran over him. Squish!
Jack be nimble Jack be quick or I'll hit you with a stick.
Once thre was a banana that crunched and muched and chewed,
but never eat a banana cause it's no kind of food.
I wish I had a nickel for every"A" that's come. I run down to the 5 and dime
to buy a pack of gum.
If I had a nickel for every time I'm wrong I could buy a first class trip
to see the viet cong!
Once upon a time, way up in a tree
there was a little bird. His name was chickidee.
An then we found an empty dish, owned by a cat name flerp.
I yelled "Where is my little bird?" but all he said was burp!
Once there was a dog, so masculent and tuff.
He was very proud. His master named him Ruff.
Ten one day a cat named moo killed the cow named joe.
The dog named Ruff didn't care how much that cat did grow.
Until one day when moo came down to see the dog named Ruff.
The dog and cat had a fight but neither one was tough.
Ruff had made a big mistake, he bit the belly of the cat.
From the meat that came form joe there was a giant splat.
Once there was a little kid who ran around the block.
He never wore all of his shoes and tried to eat his sock.
Then his mama said, "Hey Kid? What you tryin to do!"
He answered "Nothing really mom, The dog just ate my shoe".
Once there was a baker man who baked the cakes all night.
He finally got to take a rest, he fired some dinomite.
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner, eating his Chirsmas pie.
He stuck in his thumb and pulled out his little sister and said
"Hey, what are you doing?"
Once upon a time there was a kid name Joe.
He never sucked his thumb, he always sucked his toe.
This was fine and Dandy until very soon
His favorite sucking toe looked just like a prune.
Ole mother Hubbard sat in the cupboard eating her dog named Joe.
Along came a spider who sat down beside her - and bit her on the toe.
Once there was a very old man who ate a lot of fish.
Then one day he fell down and car ran over him. Squish!
Jack be nimble Jack be quick or I'll hit you with a stick.
Once thre was a banana that crunched and muched and chewed,
but never eat a banana cause it's no kind of food.
I wish I had a nickel for every"A" that's come. I run down to the 5 and dime
to buy a pack of gum.
If I had a nickel for every time I'm wrong I could buy a first class trip
to see the viet cong!
Something Important to Know
I believe I wrote earlier to say I was exercising and watching what I eat. I hit my highest weight of my life (299 lbs) and REALLY didn't want to get 1 pound heavier. I got some software to help me choose my foods better, started eating different and started exercising.
My wife (who REALLY doesn't need to lose weight - she put her wedding dress back on when Mandy was engaged) decided to track her stuff too.
Yesterday we went out and excersized and I learned something very important. It's good to be fat! We came home and entered out exercise into the food/exercise software and I got twice as many calories for my exercise as Michelle got for hers. That is nice! It makes me want to put on another 150 lbs so I can burn even MORE calories when I work out.
I suppose me walking around is like Michelle walking around carrying Mandy and that's why I get more but whatever the reason...it's something important to know.
My wife (who REALLY doesn't need to lose weight - she put her wedding dress back on when Mandy was engaged) decided to track her stuff too.
Yesterday we went out and excersized and I learned something very important. It's good to be fat! We came home and entered out exercise into the food/exercise software and I got twice as many calories for my exercise as Michelle got for hers. That is nice! It makes me want to put on another 150 lbs so I can burn even MORE calories when I work out.
I suppose me walking around is like Michelle walking around carrying Mandy and that's why I get more but whatever the reason...it's something important to know.
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