Phase 3

Life is better when you have an underlying philosophy that drives the direction of it.  Absent the philosophy, life consists of spending all your time on this earth just reacting to what happens around you.  Living that way can't possibly be as much fun as picking a purpose and working toward a clearly defined success.

I have two such philosophies.  One needs to be in a different post but the other is that Life, done well, is separated into three distinct phases. 

The first phase starts at birth and is all about self focus.  You are learning things.  You are growing and developing and for the most part you are self serving.  I don't think we plan the first phase, it just sort of happens to us. 

The second phase starts when your priorities change in such a way that you allow someone else to become more important than you.  Typically this is some kind of a family connection and often starts when choosing a partner for life.  For some it includes having children, for others it does not.  During the second phase you work in a support role with a focus on THEIR success rather than yours.  Done correctly, you find your definition of success has much less to do with what is best for you than it has to do with success for your loved ones.   Phase two teaches you about service.

The third phase should start around the time your phase 1 family members are moving into their own second phase and your own service matures to a point where your life mission is about serving others beyond the inner circle of the folks who love you.  This phase is about serving others simply because service is right.  It's about showing love to people who may or may not love you in return.  It's about trading in your "what would Jesus do" bracelet and moving forward in a plan to live it rather than wear it.

Unfortunately there are many people pass from the first phase into the second, but then following the second phase, they go backwards into the first rather than growing into the third.  

For the last few of years I've been watching my kids transition from phase 1 into phase 2.   I've been amazed to see how devoted Mandy is to her husband Jack's success.   Her loving posts, her willingness to work two jobs, and her desire to have dinner at 10 pm each night so she can make his life easier can teach us all a few things about how marriage is supposed to work. 

Meanwhile I watched Cassandra and Shane walk away from the surreal dream life they were living in Boston.   Their love for sports and the multiple championship rings they collected became secondary to their desire to create a world that would be the perfect environment for Devin.  Now that they are parents I am stunned by the selfless choices they constantly make.  I'm amazed and impressed with how natural it is for them to make all the right choices in their second phase.  Devin may never figure out just how good he has got it, but he is lucky beyond anything he could imagine.

Meanwhile I get to watch my little grandson begin to work his way through phase 1.  He's learning to laugh and control himself well enough to grab things on purpose (and not bonk himself in the head with them).  Watching Devin, I get that during phase 1 this first phase isn't selfish, it's necessary.  If he wasn't focused on himself at this point he would never be capable of moving on to the future phases.

Watching my children and grand child move into new phases I realized it was time for me to stop talking about phase 3 and start living it.  To that end I have been making preparations for the last 3 or 4 months.

Today I finished the last task of my career in big business.  Next week I'll go into the office for the last time.  They will give me a trinket with my name engraved on it, wish me well, and I'll leave this company that has been such a massive part of my life the last three decades.   As soon as I finish publishing this post I'm going to hit my knees and reach out to God with a prayer asking for guidance and direction.  When that's done, I'm going to get up and start planning the next steps of my new career working for Cookson Hills Christian Ministries, an organization that serves at-risk kids between of 5 and 18 years of age. 

The waiting is over and so is the second phase of my life.  My third phase has begun.  Wish me luck!