It's Not Just the Republican National Comittee

This week is the RNC convention.  Thousands of wild-eyed republicans have descended on Tampa Florida to have a grand meeting and decide how they would like to change things around here.

Apparent the RNC weren't the only ones having a meeting today.  I decided to get the mail and upon opening the front door I discovered there was a gecko convention happening in my doorjam.  The door opened and three of the little buggers took off into my house running three different directions.

At this point you need a wee bit of background.   I personally am kind of fond of lizards and I imagine geckos eat all sorts of insects that my wife really doesn't like.  My little daughter, on the other hand, hates them.  More than that she fears them, loaths them, and really doesn't want them around. 

Ok.  Back to the post.

Did I mention that one of Mandy's hobbies is to train dogs?  Of course I didn't, why would I.  This was a post about conventions.

Well, Newbie, my little Yorkie Terrior was right at my feet because I was in the house and if I'm in the house he feels a need to maximize the possibility of getting stepped on should I choose to quickly change directions. 

Did I mention that Mandy trains dogs?

For the first time ever I witnessed a puppy moving faster than the speed of sound. 

Three geckos going three directions and suddenly they are all connected by a brown and grey blur.

Now for a wee bit of additional background.  I always suspected my daughter was secretly training my little dog to kill geckos.  When he sees one he would instantly pounce.  The gecko would escape and he would jump to catch it.  It would dodge to escape, he would correct and be on it again.  After a few minutes of this cat and mouse routine the gecko would end up in his mouth.  A quick crunch and he would drop it on the floor for one of his minions to  pick up.

Ok.  Back to the post.

It was obvious to me that what I witnessed was well outside the dog training skills of my litter daughter.  Maybe a contract job but there is no doubt that the dog was actually trained to kill by 007 or Jason Borne.

Remembe the thing about pounce, escape, jump, dodge capture?  This wasn't like that. 

I open the door.  Three geckos take off in three directions.   Brown grey blur connects them and when I jump back after the sonic boom there are two dead geckos and Newbie has just pounced on the third.  The gecko escapes and he jumps to catch it. It dodges to escape, he corrects and is on it again. After a few minutes of this cat and mouse routine the gecko ended up in his mouth. A quick crunch and he would drops it on the floor for one of his minions to pick up.

I of course am chilled to the bone.  The pounce escape thing is just a ploy.  While out numbered he showed the result of his actual training and once he evened up the odds he went back into the "hey, look at me, I'm not very good at this" act.

So be impressed with Seal Team 6 if you want to but understand this, the well tuned killing machines in this country are not just subservient to government service.  The constitutional right to keep and bear Yorkshire Terriors will keep us safe if the country is ever overrun by tiny insect eating lizzards.