Ever go into a restaurant (or anywhere really) and have someone ask you "How are you doing?"
Sure you have. We all have. The whole asking how you are doing is a social norm where someone asks a question they don't want to know the answer to which is followed by a canned answer that doesn't need to be true because nobody cares what it is.
Here's an extension I've noticed in the past and haven't given much thought to.
"How are you doing?"
"Ok"
"Just Ok? Really? You aren't fantastic, you aren't great?"
We got one of those at the restaurant this morning. I forced a smile and said "I'm sorry, but ok is all I've got". In return she rolled her eyes and started the process of taking our order.
After the perky waitress left Michelle went completely out of character and said exactly what I was thinking (in a mocking tone no less - it was delightful):
"How are you doing?"
"Ok"
"Just Ok? Really? Not great?"
"Well, my son is in the hospital dying from cancer. Is that ok?"
Now we reach the part of the post where I impart some kind of amazing wisdom, but I've got nothing.
Well, nothing beyond sometimes "ok" needs to be enough.
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2 comments:
A few weeks after our Shane passed away I encountered a similar event. Only, mine was at church and the person knew of our heartache and still said "just ok?" I didn't have the energy to respond. I hope the waitress heard Michelle. It's fine to be perky and upbeat but not so personal with someone you don't know. Sometimes people say things and I think "we aren't good enough friends for you to say that to me." I hope you have many more friends saying the right things to you than idiotic people that seem to come around once in a while. And, for the record, I think that "ok" is better than one can hope for at times. Praying for you all. Beth
I had the exact same thing happen to me! I replied with "fine" and he called me on it so I told him "Well if you must know, my sister is having brain surgery right now so yeah, just fine is all I've got." It was quite amusing to see the shock and embarrassment on his face. I bet that will be the last time he pushes when someone doesn't give the conventional answer. So yes, sometimes "ok" needs to be enough. Sending you my love and prayers. - Darlana
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