I'm going through security in the .Gillette airport. I put my things on the scanner belt then hand the officer my drivers license and boarding pass. As I take off my shoes and belt and send those through the scanner the officer gets all serious and asks "Is this your real ID?".
"Excuse me?"
"This ID. It isn't valid. It isn't you".
"Well, I'm sure it is me" I reply.
"I don't think so he states firmly. Show me the expression on this ID" he demands.
"Let me see my drivers license" I reply.
"No" he responds. "If this is your ID you should show me the same expression. If you see the ID you will know what I'm looking for"
Well, as you can probably guess I am now looking for the candid camera equipment. Finding no film crew I ask "This is a joke, right?"
"No sir, I am absolutely serious" he retorts giving me his best officer in control stare.
"Well...I think we need to talk to your supervisor now" is my reply and just as I say it a lady steps over to officer fake ID and ask him what the problem is.
"This ID doesn't look right. I don't think it is valid and I'm not sure it is even him" he tells his boss.
"Let me see the ID" she requests and he puts my drivers license in her hand.
She looks at the license. She looks at me. She looks back at the license then says to me "I'm sorry Mr Crawford, if you could give me jus"t a second".
She immediately turns to the guy who is saving yet another building from a terrorist attack and says "This is the same guy. Look the shir even looks about the same, the only difference is he is wearing glasses".
"I told him he didn't look the same and asked him to show me the expression on the license but he didn't know to take the glasses off and look at this ID - it doesn't look right" he quickly explains.
Then the epiphany happened. The supervisor pointed at my license. "See here, this is a Texas license, that's why it looks different. And notice that his final destination is Dallas..."
The challenging officer's eyes open wide. "Oh! Texas! That's why it looks different" and with that he waves me through to the plain loading area.
A short time later I'm on the tarmac about to board the airplane. I open my case to get my Kindle and realize I have taken a 20 ounce bottle of diet coke with me to the aircraft.
My ID was a threat but I guess the 20ounces of liquid are OK. I snag the Kindle and shrug, then as an afterthought I carefully shake the dust off my shoes before boarding the flight.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Was it Intentional?
Our little dog has learned a new thing. Every day I go to the corner convenience store and get a Coke to drink while I'm working. The past few times I took the dog along and got him a little treat while I was inside.
Today I grabbed my 52 ounce cup (refills are cheaper than new drinks), rinsed it out and headed for the door. On the way to the back door I noticed Newbie was dancing at my feet while looking up at the cup. I realized he has learned an association. I said "OK, you can come" and the dance got really wild. I picked him up, carried him to the car and put him in.
As I turned the key to start the engine I happened to be looking in the right direction to see something that surprised me and has me wondering..."was it intentional?"
Newbie put his feet on the passenger side arm rest, poked his nose against the glass, and then did something that was totally unexpected. He looked down, lifted his left leg, and put his foot on the window control button. The window came down and he stuck his head out to take a nice whiff of the day outside.
It had to be a coincidence, right?
Well, yesterday we took him in Michelle's car and he "accidentally" stepped on the button and opened the back seat window and the last two or three times in my truck I've noticed he happens to hit the button that opens the window.
Evil genius or lucky footwork? It leaves me wondering.
Today I grabbed my 52 ounce cup (refills are cheaper than new drinks), rinsed it out and headed for the door. On the way to the back door I noticed Newbie was dancing at my feet while looking up at the cup. I realized he has learned an association. I said "OK, you can come" and the dance got really wild. I picked him up, carried him to the car and put him in.
As I turned the key to start the engine I happened to be looking in the right direction to see something that surprised me and has me wondering..."was it intentional?"
Newbie put his feet on the passenger side arm rest, poked his nose against the glass, and then did something that was totally unexpected. He looked down, lifted his left leg, and put his foot on the window control button. The window came down and he stuck his head out to take a nice whiff of the day outside.
It had to be a coincidence, right?
Well, yesterday we took him in Michelle's car and he "accidentally" stepped on the button and opened the back seat window and the last two or three times in my truck I've noticed he happens to hit the button that opens the window.
Evil genius or lucky footwork? It leaves me wondering.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Do I Have This Right
It's been years. Many much years since I took chemistry and physics classes but I think I have this right.
Isn't there some point in the process when a transformation occurs and it is no longer Sushi?
Friday, January 28, 2011
The Manna Effect
I have this gas BBQ. The bottle has been empty for a number of months now.
As I lit the grill to make some meat (I probably do that 2 or 3 times a week) I had the same thought I always have.
"Those flames are tiny - that gas bottle is going to shut me down before the steaks are done and I'll have to finish on the George Foreman grill".
Then I turn on a 2nd burner, wait for 350 degrees, and cook my meat. When I get done I turn it all off and say to myself "I pulled it off one last time. I'll never get through it again, not with this bottle of gas I won't".
It occurred to me tonight that there is something magical about that "last dose". Have you ever had the Manna toothpaste tube? It's been empty for months and every day you squeeze out the absolute last little dab of paste ... then the next day it happens again?
Same thing with shampoo bottles. It's been empty for as long as you can remember. It's been upside down in the shower for months. Every time you pick it up you instantly know the bottle is empty because it weighs less than a bottle (probably filled with helium or something) - every time it squirts out a third of what you thought you needed, but that turns out to be just enough.
Corn starch box - same thing. Always empty. Always enough to make one more round of gravy.
So my question is this. Is this just a Christian thing? I'm a Christian and it works in my house. I get that when God introduced the concept of manna he did it for the Jewish folks when they were wondering around in the wilderness so I find myself wondering if they get a few extra months (or 40 years) of toothpaste from an empty tube. How about the Muslims? Prior to that whole Isaac Ishmael thing they had a connection - does that mean they get extra shampoo too?
Maybe it goes farther. God loves us all. Do we all get extra gas in our BBQ tanks?
Life seems to be a collection of so many things I just don't understand.
As I lit the grill to make some meat (I probably do that 2 or 3 times a week) I had the same thought I always have.
"Those flames are tiny - that gas bottle is going to shut me down before the steaks are done and I'll have to finish on the George Foreman grill".
Then I turn on a 2nd burner, wait for 350 degrees, and cook my meat. When I get done I turn it all off and say to myself "I pulled it off one last time. I'll never get through it again, not with this bottle of gas I won't".
It occurred to me tonight that there is something magical about that "last dose". Have you ever had the Manna toothpaste tube? It's been empty for months and every day you squeeze out the absolute last little dab of paste ... then the next day it happens again?
Same thing with shampoo bottles. It's been empty for as long as you can remember. It's been upside down in the shower for months. Every time you pick it up you instantly know the bottle is empty because it weighs less than a bottle (probably filled with helium or something) - every time it squirts out a third of what you thought you needed, but that turns out to be just enough.
Corn starch box - same thing. Always empty. Always enough to make one more round of gravy.
So my question is this. Is this just a Christian thing? I'm a Christian and it works in my house. I get that when God introduced the concept of manna he did it for the Jewish folks when they were wondering around in the wilderness so I find myself wondering if they get a few extra months (or 40 years) of toothpaste from an empty tube. How about the Muslims? Prior to that whole Isaac Ishmael thing they had a connection - does that mean they get extra shampoo too?
Maybe it goes farther. God loves us all. Do we all get extra gas in our BBQ tanks?
Life seems to be a collection of so many things I just don't understand.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
10 "Things" Michelle and I like
Mandy wrote a blog recently that discussed the things (that would be nouns that are not people or places) that she really liked in 2010. As I read her post I started thinking about my four and a half inch angle grinder and it was clear to me that it was a thing worthy of a blog post all by itself. Following my little daughter's lead I decided I would come up with a list of things I liked this year.
As I started to think of them it occurred to me that maybe I didn't have enough things to come up with a list all by myself ... so I asked my other half to help me by combining her list.
DSLR Camera - Jim - I know I opened with the angle grinder but I decided the DSLR has to go on the top of my list because without a doubt the Nikon D-90 has been my favorite toy this year. I have 3 lenses that give me most any picture I want (and a 4th that I use from time to time). I suppose they are things too but I'm including them in this list. The lenses (in order of preference)
Nikor 18-200 - I like this lens because it a zoom lens that really should be two lens
Nikor 10-24 - Ultra wide angle. I'm consistently stunned by how much picture this grabs
Nikor f1.8 35 - This prime lens is fast. Really fast (i.e. lots of depth of field)
4.5 Inch Angle Grinder - Jim (duh). I started body work on my 54 Chevy this year and initially I was using sand paper, a wire brush, and a die grinder. As I sit here on January 2nd of 2011 I am a much wiser man with the knowledge that a 4.5 inch angle grinder is SO MUCH better than those other tools for removing rust or metal that you think shouldn't be there. I also learned it removes skin and meat so I gained some additional wisdom around that feature.
Droid Phone - Both - I actually had the phone on the list prior to inviting Michelle for her entries but if Michelle loves her phone, my phone affection is little more than a grade school crush. Truth be told, my perspective is that if she had to choose between me and that phone ... well, let's hope she doesn't have to make that choice (moving is stressful).
15,000 Pound Automotive Lift - Jim - When I built the toy box in the back yard I designed it so I could put an automotive lift in it. It's quite surprising how the folks in China have brought the cost of having such a thing from over $10,000 to under $1,500. I figured it would be handy to have the capacity to lift a car and walk under it, but I had no idea how a device like that coupled with some out of the box creativity could do so many things (that have nothing to do with lifting cars).
Kindle - Both - I sit in the lazy boy chair. Michelle lays on the couch. I read and the device shows me the pages of my book without the burden of book marks, losing my place, or turning pages. For Michelle in the same time window the Kindle displays a screen saver and, using the new technology in this new version, prevents her from snoring
Hobart 140 MIG Welder - I haven't welded for 25 or 30 years. I may have forgotten but it seemed to me that arch welders threw sparks everywhere and (among other things)set your cloths on fire. If the stick got to close, it stuck to the weld. If it got too far away the arc ceased to exist. Let me tell you, folks, the world has changed. Shielding gas does wonderful things to the sparks. Wire feed makes a stick more or less barbaric. Technology made welding much more fun.
"That Picture" - Michelle has been frustrated for years at her inability to get a picture of the whole family. She forces us all into a pose from time to time but it never seems to go the way she wants it and she always comes up short. This year the kids (and their spouses who, from my perspective, shouldn't be singled out separately because the spouses are part of "the kids") met in Vail Colorado for a vacation together. While there they created some excellent pictures and played a cruel trick on their mother. I'm a little slow (because I never figured out what the trick was) but it must have been mean because the picture made her cry.
Scroll Saw - Michelle - Michelle started a new wood working hobby this year. We already have many woodworking devices (table saw, compound mitre saw, table sander, drill press, router table, etc) but we didn't have a scroll saw and she wanted to cut out wooden turkeys (and you aren't doing the feet with any of those tools).
So there you have it. The things we liked in 2010.
As I started to think of them it occurred to me that maybe I didn't have enough things to come up with a list all by myself ... so I asked my other half to help me by combining her list.
DSLR Camera - Jim - I know I opened with the angle grinder but I decided the DSLR has to go on the top of my list because without a doubt the Nikon D-90 has been my favorite toy this year. I have 3 lenses that give me most any picture I want (and a 4th that I use from time to time). I suppose they are things too but I'm including them in this list. The lenses (in order of preference)
Nikor 18-200 - I like this lens because it a zoom lens that really should be two lens
Nikor 10-24 - Ultra wide angle. I'm consistently stunned by how much picture this grabs
Nikor f1.8 35 - This prime lens is fast. Really fast (i.e. lots of depth of field)
4.5 Inch Angle Grinder - Jim (duh). I started body work on my 54 Chevy this year and initially I was using sand paper, a wire brush, and a die grinder. As I sit here on January 2nd of 2011 I am a much wiser man with the knowledge that a 4.5 inch angle grinder is SO MUCH better than those other tools for removing rust or metal that you think shouldn't be there. I also learned it removes skin and meat so I gained some additional wisdom around that feature.
Droid Phone - Both - I actually had the phone on the list prior to inviting Michelle for her entries but if Michelle loves her phone, my phone affection is little more than a grade school crush. Truth be told, my perspective is that if she had to choose between me and that phone ... well, let's hope she doesn't have to make that choice (moving is stressful).
15,000 Pound Automotive Lift - Jim - When I built the toy box in the back yard I designed it so I could put an automotive lift in it. It's quite surprising how the folks in China have brought the cost of having such a thing from over $10,000 to under $1,500. I figured it would be handy to have the capacity to lift a car and walk under it, but I had no idea how a device like that coupled with some out of the box creativity could do so many things (that have nothing to do with lifting cars).
Kindle - Both - I sit in the lazy boy chair. Michelle lays on the couch. I read and the device shows me the pages of my book without the burden of book marks, losing my place, or turning pages. For Michelle in the same time window the Kindle displays a screen saver and, using the new technology in this new version, prevents her from snoring
Hobart 140 MIG Welder - I haven't welded for 25 or 30 years. I may have forgotten but it seemed to me that arch welders threw sparks everywhere and (among other things)set your cloths on fire. If the stick got to close, it stuck to the weld. If it got too far away the arc ceased to exist. Let me tell you, folks, the world has changed. Shielding gas does wonderful things to the sparks. Wire feed makes a stick more or less barbaric. Technology made welding much more fun.
"That Picture" - Michelle has been frustrated for years at her inability to get a picture of the whole family. She forces us all into a pose from time to time but it never seems to go the way she wants it and she always comes up short. This year the kids (and their spouses who, from my perspective, shouldn't be singled out separately because the spouses are part of "the kids") met in Vail Colorado for a vacation together. While there they created some excellent pictures and played a cruel trick on their mother. I'm a little slow (because I never figured out what the trick was) but it must have been mean because the picture made her cry.
Scroll Saw - Michelle - Michelle started a new wood working hobby this year. We already have many woodworking devices (table saw, compound mitre saw, table sander, drill press, router table, etc) but we didn't have a scroll saw and she wanted to cut out wooden turkeys (and you aren't doing the feet with any of those tools).
So there you have it. The things we liked in 2010.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Education
Today's lesson, girls and boys, is about education. Not education in general, it's more like when your mom used to ask you what you learned when you came home from school each day. Today I learned 4 things.
Thing Number 1)
Previously, I learned that when you need to remove 56 years worth of rust from an old Chevy pickup frame, a tool like this makes the job go much faster. Today I learned that you REALLY want to keep your fingers out of this tool when it is running.
Thing Number 2)
A year and a half ago when I built the shop I purchased a first aid kit and hung it on the wall in there. It was somewhat ironical that Monday (that would be the day before yesterday) I was doing some cleaning, noticed the first aid kit hanging there and had a moment of reflection when I pondered what might be inside the kit and whether it would ever get used. Today I learned what the inside of the kit looked like (it looked like this and had everything I needed)
Thing Number 3)
This is actually a self portrait showing the front of my shirt. It is cropped so you can see the little spears of wire sticking out of me. I already knew the spinning wire wheel does that to you. Today I learned that so many are hitting you that you might not notice one that sticks in your head just below your hair line (but someone at McDonnalds will tell you about it when you stop in to get your lunch)
Thing Number 4)
My fourth and final thing I learned today is that this (another self portrait)...
...is not enough protection (although it seems like a lot - look, I even have ear plugs for the noise). I now wear leather gloves too!
Monday, December 20, 2010
A Laugh Out Loud Moment
So I'm cutting 2 inch angle iron for a project I'm working on. Sparks are flying everywhere as they always do but I've done this so many times in the past week that I really don't mind being bathed in the fire.
That was when I smelled the burning hair.
You would think this post would be about the burning hair, but it isn't. I clearly remember having a conscious thought. It was:
That was when I smelled the burning hair.
You would think this post would be about the burning hair, but it isn't. I clearly remember having a conscious thought. It was:
"I am in the middle of a shower of sparks and I smell burning hair ... that can't be good".
Obviously I stopped cutting and patted my head down to smother any fire that was going on up there but by the time I finished ensuring I wasn't on fire anymore I pondered the thought that triggered the fire prevention activity and started laughing so hard that I had to take pause before returning to my task.
Now if I can just work that into a conversation with another human being...
"I am in the middle of a shower of sparks and I smell burning hair ... that can't be good".
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